What Did You Expect Would Happen

In 2022 we decided move out of state, away from the neighborhoods we have grown up in, and start a new life together. One of our goals was to build a community of sex positive people we could create true friendships with. We knew we wanted to slowly built this community by having house parties and planning events. We wanted to do this despite the fact we had never actually been to a house party, let alone host one.

Five months after moving to our new home, we threw our first house party… it did not go as expected.

So, what were my expectations for this party? Let’s just say they were embarrassingly debaucherous.

Although the night was all things adult, it was the friendships and connections that set the mood. Not the tangled pile of bodies as I imagined. When all was said and done, Ms. Curious and I spent most of our sexy time together, alone.

And. It. Was. Magical.

Why? Because we did what we set out to do. We were building a community. As hosts, we did not need to keep the party going, but rather it took a life of its own. Breathing on its own without any life support.

Life is a beautiful journey, filled with twists, turns, and surprises that often defy our expectations. It is in those moments when things don't go as planned, and the unknown greets us, that we have the opportunity to truly grow and discover new joys. In a world where we tend to cling to expectations, there is a transformative power of appreciating the unexpected and the valuable lessons it brings.

1. Letting Go of Control: We are wired to seek control and predictability in our lives. However, the truth is that the more we cling to rigid expectations, the less we allow ourselves to experience the beauty of spontaneity. Embracing the unknown opens up a realm of possibilities we couldn't have imagined, helping us learn to navigate life's twists with grace and resilience.

2. Discovering Hidden Opportunities: When our expectations are shattered, we often feel disappointment. But what if we shift our perspective and see these moments as opportunities for growth? The unexpected curveballs life throws at us may lead us down paths we never thought possible. By appreciating the detours, we open ourselves up to new passions, friendships, and adventures we might have otherwise missed.

3. Embracing Personal Development: Challenging situations and unmet expectations provide fertile ground for personal development. When things don't go as planned, we are given a chance to reflect, learn, and adapt. It is in these moments that we discover our resilience, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. Embracing the unknown helps us cultivate a growth mindset, enabling us to navigate future challenges with confidence.

4. Deepening Relationships: Just as us throwing our first lifestyle party, unexpected outcomes can often lead to deeper connections. When we let go of preconceived notions and allow life to unfold naturally, we create space for authentic relationships to flourish. By appreciating the people who come into our lives unexpectedly, we broaden our horizons and build a diverse and supportive community.

5. Fostering Gratitude: Appreciating the unexpected teaches us the power of gratitude. When we release our attachment to specific outcomes, we become more present in the here and now. We begin to cherish the small joys and everyday miracles that surround us. Gratitude becomes our compass, guiding us through both the highs and lows, reminding us of the beauty that lies within the unexpected.

We’ve learned to trade our expectations for appreciation. When we do, it opens up possibilities we couldn’t imagine. Life's journey is not a straight line; it is a magnificent dance of unpredictability. By learning to appreciate when expectations do not go as planned and embracing the unknown, we invite serendipity, growth, and connection into our lives. Let us release the need for control and welcome the unexpected curveballs with open arms, for it is within these moments that true magic and transformation occur. Embrace the unknown, and let life's surprises become the catalysts for a richer, more fulfilling existence.

Thank you to all those who, despite their expectations made the trek into the unknown and discovered new friends instead.